This is the last time I’m going to write in this journal. At least as far as I can predict.
I started this journal because I wanted to start a new life. I wanted to work on myself and give myself a new future. A different one. I wanted a fresh start. And I got one. Really, I think I got one. Sure there’s no girl in it yet. And there’s no job for me anymore. But I’m doing well. I’m doing surprisingly well.
The biggest reason this journal was started was so I could change. I didn’t like the person I was anymore. I was the kind of person that didn’t deserve the person I had. So she let me go. I don’t want to say that I deserve anything now, but I’ve changed. And I’m happy about it. Moreso than that, I don’t want her anymore. Is that amazing? Because while I’ve changed, so has she. She’s not the same person I fell in love with.
She’s not it for me anymore.
And I’m breaking past this point of me into this whole realm of possibility. There’s going to be someone out there who’s going to see how far I’ve come and love me for it. Sure I may not always have my good days. There are plenty of bad things going on with my life right now. I have no money to go to school anymore. I don’t have a job. But it’s taken me this long to see what I do have. Potential. Everyone has potential and I can’t believe I was blind to believe I didn’t have it too.
I can’t let people treat me like crap anymore. I don’t owe anyone anything. No one owes me anything. I don’t expect it because that’s the way the world goes. I don’t deserve to be ignored after driving out half an hour to visit someone. I deserve a hello and I deserve a goodbye because I’m a person. And I’ve realized that I can’t continue working so hard to care for someone who could care less if I died.
So this is me. This is me out the door because I’m done.
And if you ever read this (and you know who you are), I’m always going to be there for you, just like I’ve always said. I was wrong. You weren’t it for me. But when you’re it for someone else, I’m sure they’ll be it for you too. So be well. Let me know when you need a friend because I’m getting pretty good at being one. Like I say everytime I leave you, I’m always here. I always will be if you need me.
Goodbye.
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